Tips for Caregiver Self-Care & Avoiding Burnout

“I’m taking care of my mother who lives independently but is alone. I am also working a full-time job, and barely have any time to myself. What are some tips for practicing self-care and managing stress when you just don’t have the luxury of doing a 30-minute meditation or taking an afternoon to get a massage?”

— Feeling Burned at Both Ends

Dear Feeling Burned at Both Ends,

Being a caregiver for a loved one can be extremely stressful and draining, even for a very resilient and healthy person. In addition to the physical demands of caregiving, caregivers often deal with a myriad of difficult emotions such as worry, anger, loneliness, frustration, and guilt.

Even though you may feel like there’s not enough time, I really encourage you to make self-care a top priority. If you don’t take care of yourself, you ultimately won’t be able to take care of others. It is also important to recharge your batteries because chronic stress can potentially lead to diseases or health problems for you down the road. Examples of stress related maladies include: depression, anxiety, heart disease, diabetes, and/or a weakened immune system.

8 Realistic Tips for Managing Family Caregiver Stress and Avoiding Burnout

Stop trying to do it all by yourself—no one can! Find some type of respite care in your area and use that time to care for YOU. This could be:
1. A professional home health aide, personal care assistant or caregiver, even one day a week or a couple hours a day will give you a healthy break.
2. An adult day care program or local senior center.
3. A non-professional caretaker, such as a college student, to sit and visit with your loved one, even if you are only in the next room reading a book or taking a nap for a break. You are very accessible if any real issue arises but this gives you a much needed break.
4. Short-term nursing homes stays are available at some nursing homes or assisted living facilities.
5. A family member caregiver living in your area. Siblings, grandchildren, cousins, neighbors and family friends are all possibilities. You never know until you ask.
6. A friend or family member who’s willing to run errands or pick up groceries for you once a week can give you some much needed time back in your week’s schedule.
7. Research the nonprofit organizations in your area where local students and retired persons volunteer time to help seniors who need help. See https://ElderHelpers.org. They have 10,000 volunteers who will help with groceries, run errands or entertain seniors with some company.
Never feel guilty or selfish for accepting help and taking care of your own mental wellbeing.
Make sure you are keeping up with your own health by scheduling regular checkups and medical screenings with your doctor. This tends to get put on the back-burner for many caregivers, but it is truly a top priority because if you are not healthy, you won’t be able to provide care for others. “Practicing self-care allows the caregiver to remain more balanced, focused, and effective, which helps everyone involved.” -Harvard Health
Don’t isolate yourself. Talking to a family member or friend on the phone and venting about your frustration can be very therapeutic and stress-releasing.
You don’t need fancy meditation retreats or spa treatments to ease your stress. Just focus on the basics for good health:
1. Eat a healthy diet and especially avoid foods that increase inflammation in the body (highly processed foods and refined sugars).
2. Get plenty of sleep
3. Drink lots of water
4. Get some exercise everyday—even if it’s just a 10 minute walk outside!
Join an online support group. Support groups are a great way to find encouragement, information and validation from others who understand how you feel, and with the growing prevalence of online/virtual groups, you can participate from the comfort of your own home.
Incorporate humor and laughter (a major stress buster) into your days by watching or listening to stand-up comedy routines, reading funny jokes, etc.
Don’t be too hard on yourself! Practice self-compassion and give yourself credit for the hard work you are doing. Do the best you can, but don’t beat yourself up for not being a perfect, patient, put-together caregiver at all times—that’s an unrealistic expectation.